These are things that I have posted to the internet. I don't think I have stolen any of them, but if I have, I must have done it so brilliantly that I even convinced myself that I came up with them!
Welcome to my brain!
"It's very important that while I have assignments to do I stay very close to my laptop, just in case I'm struck by temporary brilliance... or lightning. Either way, this essay will be done, or I'll have a pretty good excuse for not doing it..."
"I really hate how many fat people are on weight-loss shows! Making me hungry, they are!"
"I wanna rename my apartment Mordor, to see what interesting ways people will use to avoid simply walking into it!"
"I would love to go about for a day asking twilight fans who Bram Stoker is...then punch them in their stupid head!"
"Sometimes I wish I could be you for a day! ...so I could hang out with myself...because I'm wonderful!"
"Brock had ten little brothers and sisters, a deadbeat father and no mother...and he left them all to go galavanting across the world with two freakin kids??? What a bastard!"
"I wrote a song about quants. It goes like this... *smashes guitar on ground and walks away*"
"just did the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs...that's right ladies! Please form an orderly queue!"
"If you're posting about the X Factor, the only people that are going to give a shit are the people who are also watching the X Factor...and they've already seen what has happened, so they don't need you to tell them!"
"I don't really care too much about the presidential election considering the extremely slim odds of any of the candidates being Batman..."
"went to woodies looking for a specific type of paint, they didn't have it. I said to the girl "I find your lack of paint disturbing", she INSISTED on hi-fiving me! I think i'm in love!!!"
"I wonder if the Batpole actually washes Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson when they slide down to the Batcave... Like, it DOES strip them and then re-clothe them while on a pole...why not???"
"just had a terrifying thought...Carnivorous Giraffes!!!"
