Bed - The place of dreams (and maybe Charlie Sheen)

A bed is defined as a place of sleep, that gets perpetually more comfortable the later in the morning it is. Known as the Frengelhurtner Effect, named for the man who I just made up, that may or may not have discovered the main cause of lateness for work/school/monster-truck rallies. The important thing is that you don't know who he is, because the government made him disappear! ...or I made him up.
Either way, bed = good, government = not bed, therefore bad!

Yep...lolcats. That's as far as my creative capacity stretches today!