Essay Writing: The opposite of bacon!

This is my little study on the different emotional stages students go through when they have assignments or essays to do. This is sort of a follow-up to my last post about procrastination, and I thought there could be some sort of interesting or ridiculous(more likely) reactions to this process.

This post has been written as I write the essay, so I didn't leave out any of the soul-crushing feelings that accompany attempting to write intelligently about something one knows little to nothing about.

Let's begin!

15:29  
0/800 words
Let's get started. I've already covered the procrastinatory nature of what I've done since finding out about this essay, so let's dive right in! GO!



15:36
0/800 words
I typed out the question itself. I always do this, as it helps me understand the question better (in this case it didn't), but mainly because if I am a little low on my wordcount at the end, I can use the words in the question itself to bump it up slightly. Here, I don't think I'll get away with it...95 words! That is gonna stick out in an 800 word essay like a bed intruder in Antoine Dodson's house! Oh well! 95 down, 800 to go! Onwards!

16:08
0/800 words
Man, I may not have any words down yet, but i'm going to town on these photocopies with this highlighter! I feel smarter already! Slight feeling of dread that all this stuff I've outlined won't make sense when I come back to it later, but these sheets are fucking glowing radioactive yellow! I've earned myself a cup of tea!

16:59
0/800 words
Boom! Reading: DONE! I got most of my main points down, and I need to type them up, add a bit of flair, maybe a joke or two, and I'm done! Don't particularly understand most of it, but if I did, I would be worried that I might be completely wrong and look like an even bigger idiot. Unfortunately, it's getting dark, and my snooze reflexes are kicking in...coffeecoffeecoffeetime!

17:23

230/800

Yes! We're burning rubber now! The start might be just rambling on about the content of the question, but that will probably be the general theme of the essay! Assigned wordcount to F4, and it's being grossly overused! That's sort of an obsession that I hope a lot of other people have! It fit were up to me, every time I ended a sentence it would pop up and tell me how many words I was on! Thanks little paperclip!

Hey paperclip...fuck you!

18:06

622/800

Holy shit! That was a productive spell! I think it's fairly clear that this post is a drain on my ability to complete this essay...but this one's for you, person who accidentally clicked the link I posted on facebook! I'm doing OK on the whole essay thing. Holding on to my sanity is getting pretty tough! A little bit like Frodo and the One Ring, I need to keep the laptop to do the essay, but the internet is so tempting and addictive...precious!

Not me...I swear!

18:46

923/800 words

...Fuck! I am way over my wordcount! This on its own would be fine, but I have to conclude the essay, and that'll take about 100 words in itself! I have well and truly screwed myself here! The option of a cliffhanger ending has occurred to me, but I think that would imply I would be willing to write another essay...pfft! I'll just combine some words maybe, like 'woodwind' and 'section' could become 'woodwection'! ..spellcheck has just informed me that woodwection is not a word...dammit!

Yes...yes it is!

19:16

872/800 words

Done! Removed footnotes from wordcount, took out the bit about disliking the author for his stupid unreadable information tables, and rounded it off with a joke! Spellcheck? Seal of approval!

I'm done!