Hey You!!! Stop That!!!

Recently I received a complaint about the content of my blog. A woman, whose name I will not mention for fear she tracks me down and tries to convert me, was offended by the content of two of my posts. Two of only five posts I had published to date. I thought to myself, "Wow...am I really offending people with my nonsensical rambling?". Then I visited her blog to see what kind of things she thought were appropriate for the internet. Then I thought "Hey...wtf is this?! Oh no you didn't!!!".

To put it in context, this is the original message she sent me:


Subject: Remove

"Dear Blogger,

I must inform you that several aspects of your blog is very offensive to me, as it must be to other readers as well. You are making a mockery of the teachings of Our Lord And Saviour Jesus Christ, and I must ask that you remove your post concerning the sacred celebration of the birth of our Lord. You used an image of Christ that has been altered into a blasphemous image of Christ as a pirate, and implied that he may have been a pirate. It does not matter what the Holy Bible does NOT say, the importance lies within what IS written, and it is by those writings which I choose to live my life.Your blog has appeared for some reason in a search for catholic blogs that I was making, and I am sure that I am not the only complaint you have recieved. I have no idea why this trash has come up under religious writings, but out of respect for other peoples religious beliefs, you must remove your post.I also am grossly offended at the image used of infants drinking alcoholic drinks, and you should also remove it. I have children that use the internet, and I would hate for them to be exposed to your sense of 'humor'.

Please seek God."

I went to her blog, and was bombarded with every article published about the catholic church, and passages from the bible and religious imagery...essentially something like what the popes facebook might look like!

...this made me mad!
That someone that has a different belief than me and tells me to remove posts, when that persons blog is full of mad religious stuff...and she expected me to do it??? Oh hell no!



My response:


Subject: RE: Remove

"Dear Fellow Blogger,

I am very sorry that my posts offended you, but I think there should be some form of give-and-take here. I will remove both posts you mentioned in your previous message, on the condition that you remove all references on your blog to the bible, as it is contrary to my belief that it has distorted the truth about jesus and his life. If you read the Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown, there appears to be a lot of substantial evidence that jesus had a wife. The bible is fairly unclear on this, whereas the Da Vinci Code provides solid evidence (as well as a action-packed adventure) that he was. Therefore, your bible contradicts my beliefs, and that is my basis for my request. 

As far as the image goes, it isn't an actual picture of jesus. Cameras did not exist back then, so this would be more like an artists interpretation of what he may have looked like. Who knows whether he had an eyepatch or not?

I have received no other complaints about my blog posts, aside from one from my roommate demanding I return all gifts I get for Christmas if I want to make fun of that religious holiday. I reminded him that easter is celebrated by a giant rabbit hiding eggs for children. I think that kinda makes fun of itself!

I await your response and the removal of the aforementioned posts. As soon as this is done, I will comply with your wishes.

Gareth"

At this stage I'm suitably excited for a reply, but this woman kept me waiting almost a full day before she sent me this gem!

Subject: No

"I will not remove any posts as my blog is intended for catholic enlightenment. The Da Vinci Code is a fictional story written by some random man. The Holy Bible is the Word Of God, and is the absolute truth.

There is no Christmas without Jesus, and yet you choose to capitalize the C in Christmas but not the J in Jesus, but the entire existence of Christmas is to celebrate the Birth Of Christ. The celebration of Christmas is done through the belief of Christ, and if you do not believe, you cannot truly experience the joy of Christmas.

The Feast of Easter is celebrated differently across the world, but is always done through Christ and with love for Him.

I hope you reconsider my request of removal of offensive material.

I will pray for you."

...well isn't that nice!


Subject: jESUS

"Is it not a little bit ironic that you are finding offense with aspects of my blog about my beliefs, when you are telling me that my beliefs are wrong, but when I ask you to remove yours because you may be slightly wrong, you refuse? 

I got an Xbox360 for Christmas a couple of years ago that made me pretty happy. I think if I had been any happier I may have wet myself, so I'm pretty glad I wasn't even more joyful, as I could have ruined a perfectly good set of pyjamas!

i Can Capitalise Whatever i Like!

I won't be removing any posts, as I feel it would be unfair to all of my 6 followers, one of whom is actually me. If you are offended by my posting, don't read my posts. Certainly not the next one, which will be specifically about this complaint! I'll try to be kind!

Have a very merry Christmas, and I hope you get so much expensive stuff you wet yourself!

Gareth"

The moral of this story is that if something on my blog pisses you off , STFU and GTFO!