Bed - The place of dreams (and maybe Charlie Sheen)

A bed is defined as a place of sleep, that gets perpetually more comfortable the later in the morning it is. Known as the Frengelhurtner Effect, named for the man who I just made up, that may or may not have discovered the main cause of lateness for work/school/monster-truck rallies. The important thing is that you don't know who he is, because the government made him disappear! ...or I made him up.
Either way, bed = good, government = not bed, therefore bad!

Yep...lolcats. That's as far as my creative capacity stretches today!

Kids today...then I go way off topic!

Kids today like different things than what I liked back in the day! It makes me feel very old that back in my childhood, 150 pokémon seemed like an insurmountable task to achieve, but these days there are almost 500! So what I want to know is why, if there are more than three times more pokémon to catch, are all these nine-year-olds going out, drink-driving, getting pregnant and ending up on Jeremy Kyle? Where do they find the time??? When I was nine, i spent every waking hour I could playing pokémon on my gameboy, or putting my pokémon cards in order, then shuffling them so I could do it again! I didn't have a spare minute to learn or do physical activities. I might not be smart, fit or have adequate social skills...but I know a shit tonne of pokéfacts!

Essay Writing: The opposite of bacon!

This is my little study on the different emotional stages students go through when they have assignments or essays to do. This is sort of a follow-up to my last post about procrastination, and I thought there could be some sort of interesting or ridiculous(more likely) reactions to this process.

This post has been written as I write the essay, so I didn't leave out any of the soul-crushing feelings that accompany attempting to write intelligently about something one knows little to nothing about.

Let's begin!

15:29  
0/800 words
Let's get started. I've already covered the procrastinatory nature of what I've done since finding out about this essay, so let's dive right in! GO!

Procrastination (Watch Inception before reading)

Procrastination is a great word. I'd like to think that the 'pro' in procrastination is there because everyone is unbelievably skilled at it. I know I am. Hell, I should be writing an essay on Bach or something right now. That's really what this blog is. An outlet for my inability to type anything that requires any effort at all. Not that I don't put any effort into writing this blog. I'm awake...that's something!

You take one sneaky nap...

It's funny how people always want to tell you they're proctastinating on Facebook or Twitter...or with smoke signals. A true procrastinator would learn smoke signalling to tell you they're procrastinating, while they're procrastinating, so they could procrastinate, while procrastinating during procrastination!

Z to tha X
Xzibit has a serious alphabet deficiency!

Hey You!!! Stop That!!!

Recently I received a complaint about the content of my blog. A woman, whose name I will not mention for fear she tracks me down and tries to convert me, was offended by the content of two of my posts. Two of only five posts I had published to date. I thought to myself, "Wow...am I really offending people with my nonsensical rambling?". Then I visited her blog to see what kind of things she thought were appropriate for the internet. Then I thought "Hey...wtf is this?! Oh no you didn't!!!".

To put it in context, this is the original message she sent me:


Subject: Remove

"Dear Blogger,

I must inform you that several aspects of your blog is very offensive to me, as it must be to other readers as well. You are making a mockery of the teachings of Our Lord And Saviour Jesus Christ, and I must ask that you remove your post concerning the sacred celebration of the birth of our Lord. You used an image of Christ that has been altered into a blasphemous image of Christ as a pirate, and implied that he may have been a pirate. It does not matter what the Holy Bible does NOT say, the importance lies within what IS written, and it is by those writings which I choose to live my life.Your blog has appeared for some reason in a search for catholic blogs that I was making, and I am sure that I am not the only complaint you have recieved. I have no idea why this trash has come up under religious writings, but out of respect for other peoples religious beliefs, you must remove your post.I also am grossly offended at the image used of infants drinking alcoholic drinks, and you should also remove it. I have children that use the internet, and I would hate for them to be exposed to your sense of 'humor'.

Please seek God."

I went to her blog, and was bombarded with every article published about the catholic church, and passages from the bible and religious imagery...essentially something like what the popes facebook might look like!

...this made me mad!
That someone that has a different belief than me and tells me to remove posts, when that persons blog is full of mad religious stuff...and she expected me to do it??? Oh hell no!