Xmas

The Santa Clause sends such a terrible message to children. If you kill Santa, you become him. It's a bit dark really. Reminds me of Highlander, "There can only be one!". I'd like to see that movie! With Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and other such characters killing each other to absorb their powers until there is only one all-powerful entity remaining. I'm betting on Superman, but I'm a little bit biased as he's the only one I believe in.

<insert sexist comment here>

I was going to go off on a whole rant about the connection between Christmas and Xmas, and where Christ became X, but then I decided I had better check what the actual connection was, in case I accidentally got it right and ended up being factual...it's boring! So instead I decided to believe that Jesus was captured by pirates, and buried somewhere for safe keeping. The place was marked with an X, and that's what the pirates referred to him as in their own pirate code, to keep it a secret from non-pirates. That's what the crusades were about! Not looking for the Holy Grail, but actually Jesus locked in a treasure chest buried on an island. If I was Jesus, I would have become a pirate and used my walk-on-water powers to plunder shit! It's important to use your talents.

"Avast, my children!"