Hey You!!! Stop That!!!

Recently I received a complaint about the content of my blog. A woman, whose name I will not mention for fear she tracks me down and tries to convert me, was offended by the content of two of my posts. Two of only five posts I had published to date. I thought to myself, "Wow...am I really offending people with my nonsensical rambling?". Then I visited her blog to see what kind of things she thought were appropriate for the internet. Then I thought "Hey...wtf is this?! Oh no you didn't!!!".

To put it in context, this is the original message she sent me:


Subject: Remove

"Dear Blogger,

I must inform you that several aspects of your blog is very offensive to me, as it must be to other readers as well. You are making a mockery of the teachings of Our Lord And Saviour Jesus Christ, and I must ask that you remove your post concerning the sacred celebration of the birth of our Lord. You used an image of Christ that has been altered into a blasphemous image of Christ as a pirate, and implied that he may have been a pirate. It does not matter what the Holy Bible does NOT say, the importance lies within what IS written, and it is by those writings which I choose to live my life.Your blog has appeared for some reason in a search for catholic blogs that I was making, and I am sure that I am not the only complaint you have recieved. I have no idea why this trash has come up under religious writings, but out of respect for other peoples religious beliefs, you must remove your post.I also am grossly offended at the image used of infants drinking alcoholic drinks, and you should also remove it. I have children that use the internet, and I would hate for them to be exposed to your sense of 'humor'.

Please seek God."

I went to her blog, and was bombarded with every article published about the catholic church, and passages from the bible and religious imagery...essentially something like what the popes facebook might look like!

...this made me mad!
That someone that has a different belief than me and tells me to remove posts, when that persons blog is full of mad religious stuff...and she expected me to do it??? Oh hell no!

Xmas

The Santa Clause sends such a terrible message to children. If you kill Santa, you become him. It's a bit dark really. Reminds me of Highlander, "There can only be one!". I'd like to see that movie! With Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and other such characters killing each other to absorb their powers until there is only one all-powerful entity remaining. I'm betting on Superman, but I'm a little bit biased as he's the only one I believe in.

<insert sexist comment here>

I was going to go off on a whole rant about the connection between Christmas and Xmas, and where Christ became X, but then I decided I had better check what the actual connection was, in case I accidentally got it right and ended up being factual...it's boring! So instead I decided to believe that Jesus was captured by pirates, and buried somewhere for safe keeping. The place was marked with an X, and that's what the pirates referred to him as in their own pirate code, to keep it a secret from non-pirates. That's what the crusades were about! Not looking for the Holy Grail, but actually Jesus locked in a treasure chest buried on an island. If I was Jesus, I would have become a pirate and used my walk-on-water powers to plunder shit! It's important to use your talents.

"Avast, my children!"